On why I yell all day

A normal day for me:

And then...

In the afternoon...

I'm not sure why my patients can't hear me.  It doesn't seem like anybody else has this problem.  But I spend all day yelling.  And repeating.  And yelling.  And repeating.  I initially thought it was some sort of new person hazing process- let's give the new girl all the people that can't hear!  But, I think I've figured it out now.  They were worried about how I was doing, so they gave me patients that would make me yell all day. This way, everybody in the gym knows exactly what I am doing and saying.  Everybody can keep an eye on me without me knowing.  

Good try guys.  

I'M ON TO YOU.

On why people make me need beta blockers

I spent a lot of time in the car this weekend.  A lot of time.  And every time I find myself in the car for a long time, I find myself wondering why driving is so confusing for people.  I suppose there are a lot of rules of the road.  Speed limits, yellow lines, white lines, broken white lines, broken yellow lines, stop signs, traffic lights, yield signs... I mean, I guess that could be overwhelming.  But really, it's not that confusing.  For instance, which lane is for passing?

Or, where do you park to get gas versus take a poop?

See?  Not that hard.

On my first day of work

Today I started my very first real job.  I spent the morning completing some of my orientation which consisted of online modules.  Online modules- now that is something I am prepared for.  There were even multiple choice questions at the end!  Unfortunately, I got them wrong because I was trying to complete the orientation in an office with other people.  Apparently I need my learning environment to be very quiet for me to retain anything.  After making my way through the modules, I treated three patients.  Yes, on my very first day they let me treat patients.  And, with no crying and no falls, I'm glad I survived.

By far the weirdest thing was not having anybody required to read over my notes.  As a student physical therapist, every note that I wrote was excessively edited and cosigned by my clinical instructor.  Now, nobody cared what I wrote.

Where was my editor?  Who was going to go through my note word by word and change each one until they thought it sounded intelligent?  Treating the patients by myself wasn't that scary because a lot of my instructors let me treat patients on my own with them hovering nearby.  But being able to document all by myself?  That's scary.  That medical record is kept forever.  Um, I'm really going to need somebody to proof read that for me.  I'm not so good with the spelling.

On the diversity of HGTV

I start a new job on Monday and for the first time in my life, I am going to have positive income...

Because of this, I have decided to make a few upgrades in my life.  Like, turning the A/C on.  It's hot.  Also, cable.  I love TV and the past 3 years without it have been a test of will power (and using my friends for their TVs).  For responsibilities sake, I should have waited until the positive income actually started, but instead I decided to get cable a few weeks early.  I was AMPED.  I mean, my cable company was running a special where I got extra channels for free AND they were going to install a box in my house.  When I heard "extra channels" I assumed there would be "extra channels" and when I heard "box" I assumed it would be able to record.  On both counts I was wrong.  The "extra channels" were just the same channels in HD which is super helpful as I do not have a HDTV.  And the box required a VCR to record despite the fact that the remote they gave me has a record button on it.  Why? Why would they do that to me?

Despite my disappointments, I have very much enjoyed my cable.  I mean, Amy Sheman-Palladino has a new show on ABC Family! New season on White Collar!  Chopped!  Yes, yes, and yes.  I was also very excited about watching HGTV and planning all the wonderful things I could do to my house if I had a house.  I love HGTV.  I think it is by far the most diverse channel on TV.  They have every kind of person on House Hunters- different races, different religions, different sexual orientations.  (Of course, the international version has an annoying large portion of people with entirely too much money... "ahh well, we only have 4 million for our second home...")

I was excited about watching My First Place because I haven't had my first place yet and I figured they would be on a similar budget as me.  Unfortunately, I have found the people on My First Place to be entirely annoying.  On House Hunters, no matter how horrid the house is that they show them, the buyers always find nice things to say about the house.  On My First Place, these people have unrealistic expectations and take it out on the real estate agent.

And why must every husband or soon to be husband need a man cave?  You can't watch TV with your wife?

And then they get to the kitchen.  What century am in?  Did they secretly film these in the 50's?

After which, I hear the wife say "Yeah, I think it's big enough."  Whaaaaaat?! How about you tell your husband to get out of his leather recliner in his "man cave" and do the dishes for himself because he's a giant tool.  I wanted to throw my table at the TV.  So I guess HGTV does have every type of person, sexist and all.

Pilot

After years of a being a student, I enter into the real world on Monday.  Needless to say, I feel a bit overwhelmed and underprepared, and thus have decided to share my experiences with the world.  After all, there's nothing more entertaining than hearing about other people's awkward stories as they enter into a new phase of their life.

For the past thirteen years of grade school, four years of undergrad, and three years of grad school I have been trained and raised to perform well in the classroom.  I can listen to hours of lectures without falling asleep, I can pretend to read textbooks, and I can rock out some multiple choice tests.

Unfortunately, all of these qualities are no longer needed.

I will also use this platform to share my unsolicited opinion on all things great and small.  Because I, like everybody else on the internets, feel like I am super important and everybody should care what I think.  So I hope you enjoy.